Dog's Dinner

Martin's still not speaking to me. He's not said a word to me since the dinner party last week. Can't say I blame him really. Although, I really only did it to cheer him up.

The evening started off well enough, although Martin was late arriving, so didn't actually get a chance to warn him about the other guests before he walked into the lounge. Honestly, the look on his face, you'd think we had aliens in the house. Lionel managed to give him a drink before he could say anything - not sure it would have been suitable for the Reverand's ears. Anyway, Lucy's mother brought her little dog with them. Sir Terry was not at all happy about being put in the utility room all night, It wasn't his fault he was feeling hormonal. I mean who has a little bitch who's on heat and takes it out with them, how was Sir terry to cope with that. Any way hopefully stopped them before anything too drastic happened - although they were in the garden quite a while before Lionel realised they were missing. Not sure what type of dog they had but it kept making rude smells, or maybe it that was the Reverand!

Martin collared me in the Kitchen and was not at all complementary about the guests or the fact I'd invited them without telling him. Said that there was a foul smell in the lounge and it was making him want to gag. Not sure if it was the Reverand, the dog or Lucy's mother who had a decidedly pungent odour about her. He even threatened to go home, but managed to convince him to stay. Think it was the lure of the lemon tart that did it and the air freshner!

I thought everyone was getting on lovely, although on reflection I'm not so sure I made the best decision in the world about tonight. Glynis was decidedly giggly by the end of the evening and kept touching Lionel's knee when she thought I wasn't looking. He didn't seem to mind - not quite sure how to take that? Martin stormed off home after dessert with the excuse he had an early meeting in the morning. Didn't even kiss me goodbye and Lucy and her Mother just sat politely listening to the Reverand going on and on about his bloody copper piping. Ye Gods, don't know why I bother.

Festival Update

Cake Bake Festival was a great success - Can't believe how many people turned up with their cakes, am now fearful for my title of Baking Queen. Would not have minded but it was the youngsters that really upped the game on the day.

It wasn't without it's problems leading up to the big event though. Tony, our delivery driver decided to leave our van in the village to advertise the event. He left it on the main road, just outside the Post Office (there were no kerb drops outside or any where near). Unfortunately, Tony pulled his back out and was unable to go back and pick it up that evening so Lionel and I went and picked it up the following night. Could not believe what I was looking at when we got there, someone (presume from the Post Office - can't be that bright as they used the back of a newspaper delivery list to write message) had left a big note cellotaped to the window of the van, asking us to move the van as it was stopping disabled drivers from getting into the Post Office!! Well, the road is at least a mile and half long and we weren't even right outside it. But it was the fact that someone had pulled off some of the lettering on the van advertising the date and place of the event. Would have taken them quite some time to have done that, I can tell you. Can't believe no-one saw them doing it. What a Jerk!!!!!!!

Didn't stop it being a good day though.

Have got our dinner party on tonight, although Martin still thinks he's just coming for tea. Lionel getting a bit cross with me, keeps telling me that I'm interfering and Martin will be really mad. Any way, I'm only doing this for Martin, to try and cheer him up. I've got Lucy and her mother coming (really quite a sweet old lady, bit deaf though) I ordered a bouquet of flowers for the winner of the festival and she arrived with a bucket of flowers. Lucy was really good about it, when I told her what happened and re-did them for me. Bless her. I've also invite the Reverand Johnson and his wife Glynis from next door to make up numbers - They always like a free meal! Haven't seen much of their son James recently, at the age of 39 he really should have moved into his own place by now. Glynis told me that he's far too busy to be dating (think he's only ever had one girlfriend in his life, when he was about 15) and that he's now travelling up and down the country with his job. Hmmm, as a Dentist, you'd think he'd get to meet lots of lovely young ladies, wouldn't you. Although, not entirely convinced it's the ladies that catch his eye, if you know what I mean!

Anyway roll on dinner.

Cake Bake Festival - Doggy hell

It's been a mad couple of weeks. We are hosting a cake baking festival in one of the local villages and I have spent the last 2 weeks delivering leaflets and putting up posters. I never realised what a dangerous job it was. I now have total respect for postmen. I have had my hand trapped in someone's letter box and nearly ripped my knuckles off trying to pull it out. I've been chased down driveways by dogs (believe you me the smaller, the nastier) I've had my hand in letter box trying to push a leaflet through, when I've heard dogs running towards me and it's not a nice feeling when you can feel their breath on your fingers as your trying to drag your hand back through. I've had old people growl at me and been told to "shove off". I thought this would be easy!

Anyway, Cake Bake Festival takes place on the 26th and I can't wait to see the type of cakes that people bake - maybe I should be worried about my own baking crown. It should be fun though. Have bought Lionel a new shirt especially for it, although haven't quite got round to telling him that I've signed him up for the tea and coffee stand yet. I'm sure he won't mind.

Martin still seems to be sulking about Hayley. He dropped off her box of stuff at school the other day, he said there was a really bad smell coming from the box and was glad to get rid of it, wonder what that could have been from. Oh dear.

Have tried to include Martin in some gardening at home, but not interested (thought it was supposed to be therapeutic). Am arranging a dinner party for next week (after festival - can't cope with that at the same time as well) and have made sure that Martin is coming (thinks he's just coming for tea, haven't quite told him that there will be a few others joining us). Lionel thinks it will only create trouble and that Marin will be cross with me for interfering - as if I am! Any way have invited the lovely Lucy who runs the flower shop down the road from me, she's bringing her mother with her who helps her out from time to time. Just need to invite a couple more people so that it doesn't look too obvious that I'm matchmaking. It won't be bloody Linda that's for sure.

The Demise of the Tart!!!

Well it's been an interesting couple of weeks. Firstly couldn't get hold of Martin to ask him about Hayley and whether or not she really had gone off on a two week holiday. Secondly the fact that I couldn't get hold of him really started to worry me. Lionel as ever, just kept saying we should leave them to sort it out themselves.

Well I got seriously fed up with Martin not answering phone calls, so I decided to track him down instead. I waited for him outside his flat a few days ago and when I saw him walking down the road, I pretended that I was just passing by in the car and now that I had seen him, why didn't he invite his dear old mum in for a cup of tea. Don't think Martin looked particulary pleased to see me, infact looked really annoyed (I really don't know why, you'd think he would be pleased to see a friendly face). Anyway He eventually invited me and it transpired that Hayley had been living at Martin's, rent free for the last couple of months. Told him that there was a problem with the heating or something at her place and the landlord needed her out so that the builders could get some jobs done. I really don't know where that boy gets his brains from, certainly not from me! She really must have seen him coming.

Apparently Martin has already twigged about the bogus training course as he had seen a couple of suspicious emails from this Leon on her laptop and was just waiting to confront her when I left a message on his answerphone at home. Unfortunately she'd heard it and knew the game was up. Martin apologised for not ringing but said no-one wants there mum telling them things like that over the phone and he was embarrased and angry (not with me I hope). I helped Martin round up a few of her things that she had left behind and oh dear, not sure how it happened but some prawns accidently landed in her undies and now they're packed away for when Martin drops them off at her school. I made sure that I put the box near the radiator just to speed up the smelling process. Not sure what the school secretary will make of it. I always knew she wasn't good enough for my boy.

Anway she's gone now - yippeeeeeeeee

Poor Martin!

Knew I didn't like that Hayley for a reason! Have just found out (although not from Martin) that his beloved teacher come pole dancer slapper of a girlfriend didn't go off on a two week teacher training course, but instead went off with some chap (someone called Leon) for a two week holiday to Greece. Not sure how she thought she was going to get round that one as we've had nothing but cloud and rain for the last couple of weeks. Perhaps she thought we wouldn't notice the tan - that's of course if she ever got out of the bedroom.

I have tried to ring Martin several times last night to a) find out it's true, and b) to see how he is. Lionel say's I should leave the boy alone to sort things out, but it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't have found from one of her colleague's. Who, when I asked how the course had gone, she looked really confused, especially as the school is making cutbacks and that includes extra training courses, and asked how Hayley's holiday to Greece had gone. She thought that Hayley and Martin had split up as she knew it wasn't Martin going on the holiday but some chap. I'm heart broken for Martin, although mightily relieved that he'll see sense now and dump the little tart. Thought her thighs were too dimply for short skirts!!

Holiday Blues

Thank god we're home!! It's certainly been quite a week.

Flight to Portugal was late, and as we hadn't travelled with Linda and David, they had to collect us from the airport. You'd think we did it on purpose. Apparently we interrupted their afternoon siesta - could have a nap any bloody time.

First night wasn't too bad, went out for a lovely meal to Fernando's - Lionel ordered scampi, should have known it wasn't normal breaded scampi when they brought out these strange implements (looked like something you would dissect a crab with). Anyway when Lionel tried to open them, one went flying and hit this rather large lady at the next table. It wouldn't have been so bad but it was covered in a oily dressing and it slowly slid down her bare back and onto her dress (she was wearing a halter neck - very brave thing to wear when your that big). Lionel looked like a guppy - with purple face and mouth just opening and closing with nothing coming out. As you can imagine the lady was not amused but we did buy her a bottle of wine to apologise. Thankfully we walked back to the villa, so no car singing.

Next couple of days went very slowly, with the same routine full english breakfast, lots of sunbathing and drinks around the pool about 3ish. I fear my hips are now bulging. It's always hard being someone's guest and having your day mapped out for you. God, I sound so ungrateful! It was the evenings that were the hardest though - we had to play cards or scrabble (hate, hate, hate scrabble - even hid Lionel's so he couldn't bring it with us) Things got a bit tense though. Linda hates to lose and it was great when either Lionel or I scored high words at the beginning of the game (what a look she gave us) but as the game went on you've got less letters to play with and I could tell she's played this seriously before. Everytime they got a high score she would jump up and shout "Go Simpson's" or high five David - got quite unpleasant at times. Not sure I like this side of them. Needless to say they beat us at most of the games. Not bitter about it.

Lionel and David went golfing on the fourth day to a place called Oitavos Dunes near Lisbon. Well it's been quite some time since Lionel has played a round and he was in a dreadful state the next day. You'd think he'd been on some kind of marathon, he could hardly move. Hurray he beat David though (makes a change).

But it was really the last night that confirmed my feelings towards David and Linda. We'd all gone out for a meal (we'd paid for it to say thank you for having us - although thinking about it, we had actually contributed quite a bit by paying for most of the food and drink shopping throughout the week) anyway, they chose the most expensive meals on the menu and we must have gone through at least 3 bottles of some really expensive stuff when Linda started going on about their Jackie again (think she was a bit squiffy) I am sick of hearing how wonderful she's doing at the law firm, but managed to stay quiet. Lionel kept giving me that look he does when he's worried I'm going to say something embarrassing, but think Linda managed to do that quite well herself. She started getting louder and louder (think she was trying to impress the people at the next table) and waving her hands about - problem was, she was still holding a full glass of red wine and just as she was gesticulating about being "top of your game", the contents of her glass went flying across the floor. This wouldn't have been so bad, but the waiter just happened to be walking past carrying the puddings to the next table, when he slipped on the wine - puds went everywhere and total silence descended across the restaurant. Lionel, bless him, wiped the souffle off his shoulder (said it tasted quite nice) and helped the poor chap up off the floor, afraid the desserts could not be saved. Shame they did look rather nice. Could not believe Linda, she didn't offer to help clear up the mess she'd caused - said rather loudly "David, that's what they get paid to do" and looked at the waiter as if it was all his fault. What a cow! We paid the bill and Linda and David staggered back to the villa while we finished our coffee.

Hadn't heard from Martin at all, I did try him on his mobile a few times but just kept ringing, left a few messages but he must be really busy at the moment with work.

Headed back to airport (by taxi) Linda was still in bed with probably a rather nasty hangover, so said goodbye to David, must say he looked a bit sheepish, probably best not mention last night.

Didn't like to say anything at the time, but found some strange little blue tablets in their bathroom cabinet. Lionel said I shouldn't be so nosey, but feel it may have explained their afternoon siesta sessions!

The Torture Begins!

Off on hols later today. Seem's to have come round ever so quick. Managed to find a couple of swimsuits - decided against bikini's (don't want to frighten any young children)!! Have had to hide Lionel's speedo's though, not sure why he packed them. Whenever he wears them he looks like some kind of German porn star. Not the right look for a holiday with Linda and David.

Oh, I really don't want to go, but there's no getting out of it now.

Spoke to Martin this morning and he seems a bit down in the dumps - offered to pay for him to fly out to Portugal and join us, but he declined - mentioned something along the lines of "old fogies" and "Truly being a Mummy's boy". Not sure where all this is coming from, Hayley probably! Have promised to send him a postcard when we get there.

Have packed the gin and playing cards. David is so competitive at everything, it could get nasty out there! Good job I stopped Lionel packing the scrabble board!

Oh My..........

What a weekend! Firstly dropped off birthday cake for Mr Duggan's 60th party. Felt quite pleased with it - always tricky trying to make mini sculptures of people (you never know if they like their likeness), even harder when he's a naturist and they wanted a naked sculpture of him sunbathing. Never want to do anyone down, so had to guess appendage size, hope he was pleased. Debbie said she'd never handled anything so small.

Went to Martin's for dinner on Saturday night, I thought I was very well behaved given the temptation to criticise. He had worked very hard at tidying up the flat and the casserole smelt delicious, even the lemon syllabub dessert looked good. Not sure about the taste of either though - lamb was decidedly fatty and think she must have put half a bottle of spirit in the syllabub. At least she tried. Wasn't entirely certain about her attire, I thought the mini skirt was just a little too short for somebody of her age with such dimply thighs. Anyway the good news is she's going on a residential teacher training course for 2 weeks when we get back from our hols, so we'll see a lot more of Martin. I have so missed my nightly phone chats with him.

Yesterday caught up with the walking girls, it's been ages since I've been to any of our weekly walks/exercise/torture sessions. Set off over the fields at a cracking pace (still felt slightly delicate from the night before)and carried on into the village, where poor old Natalie slipped off the kurb and landed on her behind. Which wouldn't have been so bad but Carol (walking leader) shouted (I thought just a little too loudly) "Good job there's plenty of coverage on your backside girl otherwise that might have hurt" Ooooh what a cow!

The Electrician Cometh........

Have had such a lovely morning - listened to that new Disc Jockey Chris Evans, he's quite funny really. Taken me a while to get into the swing of things with him, but once he played The Candy Man by Anthony Newley I knew he was a kindred spirit. Did make me feel good.

Listening to Radio 2 almost made up for the shock I had getting out of the shower this morning! Well............. Lionel had said that the electrician was coming this morning - to put a new outside light up in the garden. Would I let him in. But Lionel must have let him in on his way out to work whilst I was still in the shower. Poor chap, what an eyeful he got. I bounded out of the bathroom singing at the top of my voice (everyone knows I can't sing) swinging my pink fluffy towel around and not a stitch on!! He was very good about it, once he had gone back to a normal colour. He did go very pale.

Anyway garden light looks lovely and Greg the Electrician worked at top speed - didn't even stop for a tea. Goodness, will recommend him to the girls.

Didn't find any swimsuits yesterday. Not sure the saggy look is in yet.

Anyway must get on, have a birthday cake to ice and deliver and we are off to dinner with Martin and the Pole Dancer tonight. Can't wait!

It's been a while.....

Well, I can't believe how long it's been since I updated my journal. Forgot how to log onto this bloody thing. AGAIN!!! Have had to wait for Martin to show me. Fat lot of use he's been. Can't seem to ever get hold of him these days since that bloody pole dancer came to live with him. Any way am now back on line and he has promised never to read anything I write. Didn't know that he could, thought this was only for my eyes.

Anyway, Linda managed to get hold of Lionel (can't tell you how many times I've pretended to miss her phone calls) and we are now going on hols with them next week. I can't believe he couldn't think of a decent excuse to get out of it - apart from an in-growing toenail, but she wasn't having any of it. Told Lionel the rest would do him good. Am dreading it! I really really don't want to go. Lionel say's that I'm not being very grateful - Do I care!!

So because we're off next week, have had to rush through a few orders so that Debbie doesn't have too much to do while I'm away. I'm afraid she can only work at one speed and that's slow. Have had quite a few orders through for wedding cakes this month which I always enjoy doing. A couple of them want to be made out of individual fairy cakes with fancy toppings and tiered into pyramid shapes. They are really easy to do and so cost effective - if only all my orders could be that easy.

Funnily enough I bumped into the mother of one of my wedding clients (had some strange fairy tale theme for her wedding - bit naff) and she told me that the son-in-law has done a runner with the best man - OMG! Did not know what to say - promised to be very discreet.

Anyway off shopping tonight for a couple of swimming suits - hope they have reinforced panels for my tum!

Bloody Computer

Martin, my gorgeous son thought that life would be so much easier and quicker for me if I became more computer literate. No need for diaries and bits of paper any more - yeah right. First of all I couldn't remember how to switch the bloody thing on - Lionel thought we should be saving money and doing our bit for the environment by switching things off when we're not using them. Then, I couldn't remember any of my passwords (well I didn't realise I had to). It all got a bit much for me and I threatened to throw the computer out through the window. I wouldn't have minded so much, but I rang Martin to explain my problem only for him to tell me that he was a bit tied up with Hayley and could he ring me back later - that was 2 days ago and not a word since.

Any way I have at last found my passwords - I have written them down and they are now very safe in my top drawer of my desk.

Tried to ignore the holiday issue with Linda, but she left a message on the home phone and Lionel heard it. Just pretended that I forgot to mention it. Lionel thinks it would be really rude if we didn't take them up on their offer (even though he can't stand them either). Particularly after the last holiday we went on with them. My god it was a nightmare, she's so bossy! She took over the shopping list and David had to have drinks ready on the patio every afternoon by 4pm. I wouldn't have minded but sometimes it would have been nice to have been left to read my book in peace. The we would have to a drive out for a meal where everyone sang along to the cd - I can't sing for toffee (i'm sure that's why she did it). I really don't think I can do it again. I will just have to keep working on Lionel.

Am still waiting to be paid by the people I did the wedding cake for - At least I remembered to send the bill.

Hells Bells

Have been so busy this week, just have not had time to up date my journal.

Martin Came home for tea this week - always so lovely to see him. Really miss that he doesn't live at home anymore. Managed to avoid the subject of Hayley until just before he left - say's that she would like to cook for us one night. Nothing special as she doesn't really do cooking but would make an exception for us. Needn't bother. She hate's cooking, doesn't believe in cleaning and seems to excel at her hobby of pole dancing (which she took up 6 months ago) - told Lionel it was just for exercise, but Debs thinks it's really a side job - teaching obviously doesn't pay enough!

Delivered cake for the anniversary party early on Friday morning - was really pleased with it (hope they were too). Although noticed a bit of tension from some of the relatives who were decorating the hall. Couldn't help overhearing something along the lines of farce and knicker dropper - can't imagine what they were talking about!

Wedding cake was dropped off yesterday morning as promised. Lovely venue, it must have cost thousands to deck out (nothing too good for the little princess). I'm not sure I have ever seen anything like it: fake trees, stuffed woodland animals, even a fountain in the middle of it all. All the tables were decked out with Ivy and white candles. I didn't hang around to see the bride - learnt a long time ago that the morning of a wedding can be high with nerves and tension and anything can spark tears and tantrums.

I must remember to send them the bill this week.

Spent today listening to Radio 2 - Can't beat a bit of Sir Terry and relaxing.

Bumped into Linda at tea time as I was walking the dog, I did try and pretend I hadn't see her walking towards me, but as there were no trees to hide behind and bushes were a bit to bare to hide in I had to say hello. Of course once again thanked her for the lovely meal last weekend (I'm so two faced, honestly) and made polite conversation about her upcoming holiday (which I really couldn't care about) and then she dropped the bombshell of why didn't Lionel and myself join them for a few days. OH HELP!!!!

Cake fun

Spent today baking cakes (or trying to) for an anniversary party on Friday night and a wedding on Saturday.

Firstly the anniversary party........A lovely couple, Mr and Mrs Newland who are celebrating 10 years of marriage - They just wanted something simple and elegant, so have gone for a 12" square shaped, lemon sponge covered with pale ivory icing, with a few white roses clustered in the corner and their names in the middle. Simple. No arguments, both in agreement and both happy to pay the bill up front.

However.......

The Wedding from hell........This has been a wedding in planning for about 2 years. The bride to be is very pretty, I can't deny that, but has a ferocious temper (god help the groom - who I have never met) and has been demanding in every which way possible. A challenge I like to think. Her parents have been incredibly self indulgent and have given in to every whim possible. Firstly, she has changed her mind on the filling and the cake shape at least 4 times.....not a problem but I have to re-cost every time this happens. Secondly, she wanted us to do the favours, again not a problem, but with every suggestion we made there was always a heavy sigh, until in the end I suggested that she might want to do this herself, to add a personal touch on the day - thank god she went for it. Finally, when she eventually came to decision I made sure that it was put down in writing and a deposit laid (have been caught out before and was not going to let it happen again).

In the end, she agreed to have a 2 tiered hexagonal shaped cake made out of fruit cake and marzipan with crystal blue icing covering it and about a hundred hand cut white hydrangea flowers (made out of icing) that look like they have been scattered all over it. Very ethereal I like to think.

Normally, I look forward to our customers big events, but there are some that are truly testing.

Luckily we have Martin coming home for tea tonight. Can't wait (he always cheers us up) and am very glad that he is not bring Hayley his so called new girlfriend with him!

Side bends and wind

I don't think I've laughed so much since I went to Duncan's birthday party and ended up playing twister in their back garden at 2 in the morning.

We arrived at the Health Spa to be greeted by a really charming young man, who got us checked in and directed to all the amenities. Cheryl was very keen to make a start with the therapist but was told he was no longer available - not the best start to the day!

We decided to start the day in a healthy mood, so booked into a yoga class. Well, I know they say it's a great way to unwind and relax but I think Deb's unwound just a little too much and was making the strangest noises ever. This would not have been too bad in itself, but think she must have had garlic or curry last night as the smell was truly pungent!! Yoga teacher was great though and told her that she was must have been doing all the exercises correctly. Yeah right!

Lunch took on a more sozzled afair, I'm afraid. I did mean to be healthy and only drink water, but was persuaded to have at least one glass as we were treating our selves, and then unfortunately, one lead to another and to another. Did feel rather relaxed though.

Had some beauty treatments in the afternoon - Indian head massage was lovely. Anti-cellulite treatment was like being tortured. I have never felt so much pain (except giving birth) in my life, thought she was going to pull my skin off with this awful bristle brush thing. When I screamed, she told me that i was not looking after myself and I only myself to blame. Bloody cheek!!! Then she started dinging these bells around my head to "disperse negative energy". Thought all of this was supposed to be relaxing.

When I got home dear Lionel had a glass of wine waiting for me and asked if I fancied a take-away, curry perhaps? I decided to
decline his offer (can't think why) and have beans on toast instead.

Tomorrow, back to work - have 2 cakes on order from clients and really need to get them finished for the weekend.

That damned woman!!!

I am never speaking to that woman, Linda Simpson ever AGAIN!!!!!

We arrived at their house for dinner just after 7pm and everyone else had already arrived, so she kept tutting about punctuality. Champers was quite nice, but did she have to keep going on about the price of it. NO! She's also had a new chinese rug put down, so everyone had to walk around the edge of the room, so as not to mark it.

Anyway moved into the dining room for the meal and she had sat me next to Clive Taylor who must be going a bit blind as he kept rubbing my leg up and down, instead of his own. Although, think he got the message when I accidently dropped my knife on his hand. Only a little bit of blood, but he did go on about it a bit. The meal itself was interesting, prawn cocktail to start (with no brown bread - everyone knows you always have it with brown bread), followed by chicken supreme and some rather overcooked vegetables. Although to be fair, the veg turned out to be the saving grace of the meal, chicken was not quite that supreme. Pudding was a sorbet - rather strange puce colour. We all said how lovely it was, not sure anyone really meant it.

During the meal Linda kept going on and on about their Jackie and how wonderful she's doing in the law firm. We all know that she only got where she did because she slept with the senior partner - but I didn't say anything. Didn't want to be indiscreet. Then she started on poor Martin, well, as any good Mother would, I jumped straight in and put her right. Not fair that he's not been able to find a decent girlfriend, he does try, and there's nothing wrong with being a web designer. Cheek of it, she called him geeky!

Hope Linda and David have a miserable time at their Villa. Am pretty sure that Portugal is having an undue cold snap. Ha!

Lionel had wind again. I'm afraid the only place for him was the spare room.

Never mind, I'm off to a certain Health Spa tomorrow with a couple of girl friends, where I believe the therapists are quite hands on. Can't wait!

Welcome to my world!

Oh my dears, my wonderful son Martin has set me up on this computer. Told me it was about time I joined the 21st century. I normally keep my diary in my drawers, but am fairly sure no-one can read it here!!!

Martin took me shopping this morning - such a good boy (shame about his girlfriend) and I bought some shrubs. Well, I've never had so many men come up to me and tell me what a lovely bush I have. Lionel is going to be very busy planting them this afternoon - I like to keep him busy, it keeps him out of my way.

Tonight we are off to our friends the Simpson's for dinner (she's a bit of a snob really) - last time we went we had fish stew, which was a tad underdone for my liking and it gave Lionel terrible indigestion all night. In the end I packed him off to the spare room, well no point us both being up all night. Is there?