Cake Bake Festival was a great success - Can't believe how many people turned up with their cakes, am now fearful for my title of Baking Queen. Would not have minded but it was the youngsters that really upped the game on the day.
It wasn't without it's problems leading up to the big event though. Tony, our delivery driver decided to leave our van in the village to advertise the event. He left it on the main road, just outside the Post Office (there were no kerb drops outside or any where near). Unfortunately, Tony pulled his back out and was unable to go back and pick it up that evening so Lionel and I went and picked it up the following night. Could not believe what I was looking at when we got there, someone (presume from the Post Office - can't be that bright as they used the back of a newspaper delivery list to write message) had left a big note cellotaped to the window of the van, asking us to move the van as it was stopping disabled drivers from getting into the Post Office!! Well, the road is at least a mile and half long and we weren't even right outside it. But it was the fact that someone had pulled off some of the lettering on the van advertising the date and place of the event. Would have taken them quite some time to have done that, I can tell you. Can't believe no-one saw them doing it. What a Jerk!!!!!!!
Didn't stop it being a good day though.
Have got our dinner party on tonight, although Martin still thinks he's just coming for tea. Lionel getting a bit cross with me, keeps telling me that I'm interfering and Martin will be really mad. Any way, I'm only doing this for Martin, to try and cheer him up. I've got Lucy and her mother coming (really quite a sweet old lady, bit deaf though) I ordered a bouquet of flowers for the winner of the festival and she arrived with a bucket of flowers. Lucy was really good about it, when I told her what happened and re-did them for me. Bless her. I've also invite the Reverand Johnson and his wife Glynis from next door to make up numbers - They always like a free meal! Haven't seen much of their son James recently, at the age of 39 he really should have moved into his own place by now. Glynis told me that he's far too busy to be dating (think he's only ever had one girlfriend in his life, when he was about 15) and that he's now travelling up and down the country with his job. Hmmm, as a Dentist, you'd think he'd get to meet lots of lovely young ladies, wouldn't you. Although, not entirely convinced it's the ladies that catch his eye, if you know what I mean!
Anyway roll on dinner.
Saturday, 2 October 2010
Monday, 20 September 2010
Cake Bake Festival - Doggy hell
It's been a mad couple of weeks. We are hosting a cake baking festival in one of the local villages and I have spent the last 2 weeks delivering leaflets and putting up posters. I never realised what a dangerous job it was. I now have total respect for postmen. I have had my hand trapped in someone's letter box and nearly ripped my knuckles off trying to pull it out. I've been chased down driveways by dogs (believe you me the smaller, the nastier) I've had my hand in letter box trying to push a leaflet through, when I've heard dogs running towards me and it's not a nice feeling when you can feel their breath on your fingers as your trying to drag your hand back through. I've had old people growl at me and been told to "shove off". I thought this would be easy!
Anyway, Cake Bake Festival takes place on the 26th and I can't wait to see the type of cakes that people bake - maybe I should be worried about my own baking crown. It should be fun though. Have bought Lionel a new shirt especially for it, although haven't quite got round to telling him that I've signed him up for the tea and coffee stand yet. I'm sure he won't mind.
Martin still seems to be sulking about Hayley. He dropped off her box of stuff at school the other day, he said there was a really bad smell coming from the box and was glad to get rid of it, wonder what that could have been from. Oh dear.
Have tried to include Martin in some gardening at home, but not interested (thought it was supposed to be therapeutic). Am arranging a dinner party for next week (after festival - can't cope with that at the same time as well) and have made sure that Martin is coming (thinks he's just coming for tea, haven't quite told him that there will be a few others joining us). Lionel thinks it will only create trouble and that Marin will be cross with me for interfering - as if I am! Any way have invited the lovely Lucy who runs the flower shop down the road from me, she's bringing her mother with her who helps her out from time to time. Just need to invite a couple more people so that it doesn't look too obvious that I'm matchmaking. It won't be bloody Linda that's for sure.
Anyway, Cake Bake Festival takes place on the 26th and I can't wait to see the type of cakes that people bake - maybe I should be worried about my own baking crown. It should be fun though. Have bought Lionel a new shirt especially for it, although haven't quite got round to telling him that I've signed him up for the tea and coffee stand yet. I'm sure he won't mind.
Martin still seems to be sulking about Hayley. He dropped off her box of stuff at school the other day, he said there was a really bad smell coming from the box and was glad to get rid of it, wonder what that could have been from. Oh dear.
Have tried to include Martin in some gardening at home, but not interested (thought it was supposed to be therapeutic). Am arranging a dinner party for next week (after festival - can't cope with that at the same time as well) and have made sure that Martin is coming (thinks he's just coming for tea, haven't quite told him that there will be a few others joining us). Lionel thinks it will only create trouble and that Marin will be cross with me for interfering - as if I am! Any way have invited the lovely Lucy who runs the flower shop down the road from me, she's bringing her mother with her who helps her out from time to time. Just need to invite a couple more people so that it doesn't look too obvious that I'm matchmaking. It won't be bloody Linda that's for sure.
Monday, 6 September 2010
The Demise of the Tart!!!
Well it's been an interesting couple of weeks. Firstly couldn't get hold of Martin to ask him about Hayley and whether or not she really had gone off on a two week holiday. Secondly the fact that I couldn't get hold of him really started to worry me. Lionel as ever, just kept saying we should leave them to sort it out themselves.
Well I got seriously fed up with Martin not answering phone calls, so I decided to track him down instead. I waited for him outside his flat a few days ago and when I saw him walking down the road, I pretended that I was just passing by in the car and now that I had seen him, why didn't he invite his dear old mum in for a cup of tea. Don't think Martin looked particulary pleased to see me, infact looked really annoyed (I really don't know why, you'd think he would be pleased to see a friendly face). Anyway He eventually invited me and it transpired that Hayley had been living at Martin's, rent free for the last couple of months. Told him that there was a problem with the heating or something at her place and the landlord needed her out so that the builders could get some jobs done. I really don't know where that boy gets his brains from, certainly not from me! She really must have seen him coming.
Apparently Martin has already twigged about the bogus training course as he had seen a couple of suspicious emails from this Leon on her laptop and was just waiting to confront her when I left a message on his answerphone at home. Unfortunately she'd heard it and knew the game was up. Martin apologised for not ringing but said no-one wants there mum telling them things like that over the phone and he was embarrased and angry (not with me I hope). I helped Martin round up a few of her things that she had left behind and oh dear, not sure how it happened but some prawns accidently landed in her undies and now they're packed away for when Martin drops them off at her school. I made sure that I put the box near the radiator just to speed up the smelling process. Not sure what the school secretary will make of it. I always knew she wasn't good enough for my boy.
Anway she's gone now - yippeeeeeeeee
Well I got seriously fed up with Martin not answering phone calls, so I decided to track him down instead. I waited for him outside his flat a few days ago and when I saw him walking down the road, I pretended that I was just passing by in the car and now that I had seen him, why didn't he invite his dear old mum in for a cup of tea. Don't think Martin looked particulary pleased to see me, infact looked really annoyed (I really don't know why, you'd think he would be pleased to see a friendly face). Anyway He eventually invited me and it transpired that Hayley had been living at Martin's, rent free for the last couple of months. Told him that there was a problem with the heating or something at her place and the landlord needed her out so that the builders could get some jobs done. I really don't know where that boy gets his brains from, certainly not from me! She really must have seen him coming.
Apparently Martin has already twigged about the bogus training course as he had seen a couple of suspicious emails from this Leon on her laptop and was just waiting to confront her when I left a message on his answerphone at home. Unfortunately she'd heard it and knew the game was up. Martin apologised for not ringing but said no-one wants there mum telling them things like that over the phone and he was embarrased and angry (not with me I hope). I helped Martin round up a few of her things that she had left behind and oh dear, not sure how it happened but some prawns accidently landed in her undies and now they're packed away for when Martin drops them off at her school. I made sure that I put the box near the radiator just to speed up the smelling process. Not sure what the school secretary will make of it. I always knew she wasn't good enough for my boy.
Anway she's gone now - yippeeeeeeeee
Friday, 13 August 2010
Poor Martin!
Knew I didn't like that Hayley for a reason! Have just found out (although not from Martin) that his beloved teacher come pole dancer slapper of a girlfriend didn't go off on a two week teacher training course, but instead went off with some chap (someone called Leon) for a two week holiday to Greece. Not sure how she thought she was going to get round that one as we've had nothing but cloud and rain for the last couple of weeks. Perhaps she thought we wouldn't notice the tan - that's of course if she ever got out of the bedroom.
I have tried to ring Martin several times last night to a) find out it's true, and b) to see how he is. Lionel say's I should leave the boy alone to sort things out, but it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't have found from one of her colleague's. Who, when I asked how the course had gone, she looked really confused, especially as the school is making cutbacks and that includes extra training courses, and asked how Hayley's holiday to Greece had gone. She thought that Hayley and Martin had split up as she knew it wasn't Martin going on the holiday but some chap. I'm heart broken for Martin, although mightily relieved that he'll see sense now and dump the little tart. Thought her thighs were too dimply for short skirts!!
I have tried to ring Martin several times last night to a) find out it's true, and b) to see how he is. Lionel say's I should leave the boy alone to sort things out, but it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't have found from one of her colleague's. Who, when I asked how the course had gone, she looked really confused, especially as the school is making cutbacks and that includes extra training courses, and asked how Hayley's holiday to Greece had gone. She thought that Hayley and Martin had split up as she knew it wasn't Martin going on the holiday but some chap. I'm heart broken for Martin, although mightily relieved that he'll see sense now and dump the little tart. Thought her thighs were too dimply for short skirts!!
Friday, 16 July 2010
Holiday Blues
Thank god we're home!! It's certainly been quite a week.
Flight to Portugal was late, and as we hadn't travelled with Linda and David, they had to collect us from the airport. You'd think we did it on purpose. Apparently we interrupted their afternoon siesta - could have a nap any bloody time.
First night wasn't too bad, went out for a lovely meal to Fernando's - Lionel ordered scampi, should have known it wasn't normal breaded scampi when they brought out these strange implements (looked like something you would dissect a crab with). Anyway when Lionel tried to open them, one went flying and hit this rather large lady at the next table. It wouldn't have been so bad but it was covered in a oily dressing and it slowly slid down her bare back and onto her dress (she was wearing a halter neck - very brave thing to wear when your that big). Lionel looked like a guppy - with purple face and mouth just opening and closing with nothing coming out. As you can imagine the lady was not amused but we did buy her a bottle of wine to apologise. Thankfully we walked back to the villa, so no car singing.
Next couple of days went very slowly, with the same routine full english breakfast, lots of sunbathing and drinks around the pool about 3ish. I fear my hips are now bulging. It's always hard being someone's guest and having your day mapped out for you. God, I sound so ungrateful! It was the evenings that were the hardest though - we had to play cards or scrabble (hate, hate, hate scrabble - even hid Lionel's so he couldn't bring it with us) Things got a bit tense though. Linda hates to lose and it was great when either Lionel or I scored high words at the beginning of the game (what a look she gave us) but as the game went on you've got less letters to play with and I could tell she's played this seriously before. Everytime they got a high score she would jump up and shout "Go Simpson's" or high five David - got quite unpleasant at times. Not sure I like this side of them. Needless to say they beat us at most of the games. Not bitter about it.
Lionel and David went golfing on the fourth day to a place called Oitavos Dunes near Lisbon. Well it's been quite some time since Lionel has played a round and he was in a dreadful state the next day. You'd think he'd been on some kind of marathon, he could hardly move. Hurray he beat David though (makes a change).
But it was really the last night that confirmed my feelings towards David and Linda. We'd all gone out for a meal (we'd paid for it to say thank you for having us - although thinking about it, we had actually contributed quite a bit by paying for most of the food and drink shopping throughout the week) anyway, they chose the most expensive meals on the menu and we must have gone through at least 3 bottles of some really expensive stuff when Linda started going on about their Jackie again (think she was a bit squiffy) I am sick of hearing how wonderful she's doing at the law firm, but managed to stay quiet. Lionel kept giving me that look he does when he's worried I'm going to say something embarrassing, but think Linda managed to do that quite well herself. She started getting louder and louder (think she was trying to impress the people at the next table) and waving her hands about - problem was, she was still holding a full glass of red wine and just as she was gesticulating about being "top of your game", the contents of her glass went flying across the floor. This wouldn't have been so bad, but the waiter just happened to be walking past carrying the puddings to the next table, when he slipped on the wine - puds went everywhere and total silence descended across the restaurant. Lionel, bless him, wiped the souffle off his shoulder (said it tasted quite nice) and helped the poor chap up off the floor, afraid the desserts could not be saved. Shame they did look rather nice. Could not believe Linda, she didn't offer to help clear up the mess she'd caused - said rather loudly "David, that's what they get paid to do" and looked at the waiter as if it was all his fault. What a cow! We paid the bill and Linda and David staggered back to the villa while we finished our coffee.
Hadn't heard from Martin at all, I did try him on his mobile a few times but just kept ringing, left a few messages but he must be really busy at the moment with work.
Headed back to airport (by taxi) Linda was still in bed with probably a rather nasty hangover, so said goodbye to David, must say he looked a bit sheepish, probably best not mention last night.
Didn't like to say anything at the time, but found some strange little blue tablets in their bathroom cabinet. Lionel said I shouldn't be so nosey, but feel it may have explained their afternoon siesta sessions!
Flight to Portugal was late, and as we hadn't travelled with Linda and David, they had to collect us from the airport. You'd think we did it on purpose. Apparently we interrupted their afternoon siesta - could have a nap any bloody time.
First night wasn't too bad, went out for a lovely meal to Fernando's - Lionel ordered scampi, should have known it wasn't normal breaded scampi when they brought out these strange implements (looked like something you would dissect a crab with). Anyway when Lionel tried to open them, one went flying and hit this rather large lady at the next table. It wouldn't have been so bad but it was covered in a oily dressing and it slowly slid down her bare back and onto her dress (she was wearing a halter neck - very brave thing to wear when your that big). Lionel looked like a guppy - with purple face and mouth just opening and closing with nothing coming out. As you can imagine the lady was not amused but we did buy her a bottle of wine to apologise. Thankfully we walked back to the villa, so no car singing.
Next couple of days went very slowly, with the same routine full english breakfast, lots of sunbathing and drinks around the pool about 3ish. I fear my hips are now bulging. It's always hard being someone's guest and having your day mapped out for you. God, I sound so ungrateful! It was the evenings that were the hardest though - we had to play cards or scrabble (hate, hate, hate scrabble - even hid Lionel's so he couldn't bring it with us) Things got a bit tense though. Linda hates to lose and it was great when either Lionel or I scored high words at the beginning of the game (what a look she gave us) but as the game went on you've got less letters to play with and I could tell she's played this seriously before. Everytime they got a high score she would jump up and shout "Go Simpson's" or high five David - got quite unpleasant at times. Not sure I like this side of them. Needless to say they beat us at most of the games. Not bitter about it.
Lionel and David went golfing on the fourth day to a place called Oitavos Dunes near Lisbon. Well it's been quite some time since Lionel has played a round and he was in a dreadful state the next day. You'd think he'd been on some kind of marathon, he could hardly move. Hurray he beat David though (makes a change).
But it was really the last night that confirmed my feelings towards David and Linda. We'd all gone out for a meal (we'd paid for it to say thank you for having us - although thinking about it, we had actually contributed quite a bit by paying for most of the food and drink shopping throughout the week) anyway, they chose the most expensive meals on the menu and we must have gone through at least 3 bottles of some really expensive stuff when Linda started going on about their Jackie again (think she was a bit squiffy) I am sick of hearing how wonderful she's doing at the law firm, but managed to stay quiet. Lionel kept giving me that look he does when he's worried I'm going to say something embarrassing, but think Linda managed to do that quite well herself. She started getting louder and louder (think she was trying to impress the people at the next table) and waving her hands about - problem was, she was still holding a full glass of red wine and just as she was gesticulating about being "top of your game", the contents of her glass went flying across the floor. This wouldn't have been so bad, but the waiter just happened to be walking past carrying the puddings to the next table, when he slipped on the wine - puds went everywhere and total silence descended across the restaurant. Lionel, bless him, wiped the souffle off his shoulder (said it tasted quite nice) and helped the poor chap up off the floor, afraid the desserts could not be saved. Shame they did look rather nice. Could not believe Linda, she didn't offer to help clear up the mess she'd caused - said rather loudly "David, that's what they get paid to do" and looked at the waiter as if it was all his fault. What a cow! We paid the bill and Linda and David staggered back to the villa while we finished our coffee.
Hadn't heard from Martin at all, I did try him on his mobile a few times but just kept ringing, left a few messages but he must be really busy at the moment with work.
Headed back to airport (by taxi) Linda was still in bed with probably a rather nasty hangover, so said goodbye to David, must say he looked a bit sheepish, probably best not mention last night.
Didn't like to say anything at the time, but found some strange little blue tablets in their bathroom cabinet. Lionel said I shouldn't be so nosey, but feel it may have explained their afternoon siesta sessions!
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
The Torture Begins!
Off on hols later today. Seem's to have come round ever so quick. Managed to find a couple of swimsuits - decided against bikini's (don't want to frighten any young children)!! Have had to hide Lionel's speedo's though, not sure why he packed them. Whenever he wears them he looks like some kind of German porn star. Not the right look for a holiday with Linda and David.
Oh, I really don't want to go, but there's no getting out of it now.
Spoke to Martin this morning and he seems a bit down in the dumps - offered to pay for him to fly out to Portugal and join us, but he declined - mentioned something along the lines of "old fogies" and "Truly being a Mummy's boy". Not sure where all this is coming from, Hayley probably! Have promised to send him a postcard when we get there.
Have packed the gin and playing cards. David is so competitive at everything, it could get nasty out there! Good job I stopped Lionel packing the scrabble board!
Oh, I really don't want to go, but there's no getting out of it now.
Spoke to Martin this morning and he seems a bit down in the dumps - offered to pay for him to fly out to Portugal and join us, but he declined - mentioned something along the lines of "old fogies" and "Truly being a Mummy's boy". Not sure where all this is coming from, Hayley probably! Have promised to send him a postcard when we get there.
Have packed the gin and playing cards. David is so competitive at everything, it could get nasty out there! Good job I stopped Lionel packing the scrabble board!
Monday, 5 July 2010
Oh My..........
What a weekend! Firstly dropped off birthday cake for Mr Duggan's 60th party. Felt quite pleased with it - always tricky trying to make mini sculptures of people (you never know if they like their likeness), even harder when he's a naturist and they wanted a naked sculpture of him sunbathing. Never want to do anyone down, so had to guess appendage size, hope he was pleased. Debbie said she'd never handled anything so small.
Went to Martin's for dinner on Saturday night, I thought I was very well behaved given the temptation to criticise. He had worked very hard at tidying up the flat and the casserole smelt delicious, even the lemon syllabub dessert looked good. Not sure about the taste of either though - lamb was decidedly fatty and think she must have put half a bottle of spirit in the syllabub. At least she tried. Wasn't entirely certain about her attire, I thought the mini skirt was just a little too short for somebody of her age with such dimply thighs. Anyway the good news is she's going on a residential teacher training course for 2 weeks when we get back from our hols, so we'll see a lot more of Martin. I have so missed my nightly phone chats with him.
Yesterday caught up with the walking girls, it's been ages since I've been to any of our weekly walks/exercise/torture sessions. Set off over the fields at a cracking pace (still felt slightly delicate from the night before)and carried on into the village, where poor old Natalie slipped off the kurb and landed on her behind. Which wouldn't have been so bad but Carol (walking leader) shouted (I thought just a little too loudly) "Good job there's plenty of coverage on your backside girl otherwise that might have hurt" Ooooh what a cow!
Went to Martin's for dinner on Saturday night, I thought I was very well behaved given the temptation to criticise. He had worked very hard at tidying up the flat and the casserole smelt delicious, even the lemon syllabub dessert looked good. Not sure about the taste of either though - lamb was decidedly fatty and think she must have put half a bottle of spirit in the syllabub. At least she tried. Wasn't entirely certain about her attire, I thought the mini skirt was just a little too short for somebody of her age with such dimply thighs. Anyway the good news is she's going on a residential teacher training course for 2 weeks when we get back from our hols, so we'll see a lot more of Martin. I have so missed my nightly phone chats with him.
Yesterday caught up with the walking girls, it's been ages since I've been to any of our weekly walks/exercise/torture sessions. Set off over the fields at a cracking pace (still felt slightly delicate from the night before)and carried on into the village, where poor old Natalie slipped off the kurb and landed on her behind. Which wouldn't have been so bad but Carol (walking leader) shouted (I thought just a little too loudly) "Good job there's plenty of coverage on your backside girl otherwise that might have hurt" Ooooh what a cow!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)